


i wanna grab both your shoulders and shake baby

by aweestruck



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur is clueless, Arthur loves it, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Confessions, Confusion, Idiots in Love, M/M, Merlin is sassy, Merlin is the same, and whipped, lots of interrupting, wholesome merthur content tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23573962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aweestruck/pseuds/aweestruck
Summary: “Need I remind you just who you’re talking to?”Merlin blinked innocently, “Of course not, but I’m sure your ego will insist that you do.”
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 232





	i wanna grab both your shoulders and shake baby

**Author's Note:**

> first merthur fic yay! i hope u can forgive me if they seem ooc, i tried. but i hope you enjoy!

Arthur would really like to know what sinful crime committed in his past life led him _here_ , of all places.

And no, the here in question, was not the dearest Camelot. If only that were the extent of his troubles, a kingdom facing the most untimely attacks. 

Arthur’s most pronounced plight came in the form of a gawky manservant with a taste for cheeky comments, most often thrown in the prince’s direction. Since the day he arrived, Merlin had never ceased to render Arthur dumbfounded with his audacious remarks toward the prince of Camelot, son of Uther Pendragon. 

At first, Arthur could recall the annoyance with which he regarded the silly commoner interrupting… _important training_. Even more so when he was made to look a fool in front of the kingdom’s people and his knights, tripping over every god forsaken object like a total buffoon.

Then came Lady Helen, or her imposter, and lo and behold: the scrawny boy had gone and saved Arthur’s life! He remembers the immediate sense of outrage as he could do nothing but accept his father so graciously appointing Merlin to be his manservant.

And outraged Arthur had been, he could laugh now at his arrogant nature. The smallest things would set him off, Merlin being a second late, Merlin giving him the utmost sass, Merlin doing anything. 

But just about a year into this relationship and Arthur could not confidently pinpoint the moment his feelings for Merlin had changed. Perhaps when he drank from that stupid chalice, poisoning himself. Maybe when they had traveled to Ealdor and a new side of Merlin was revealed to him. Or when he had stayed to help ~~Arthur~~ Camelot rid itself of the troll Lady Catrina, despite every guard in the castle searching for him.

Possibly, it was precisely the very moment on the courtyard Arthur had earlier claimed to have caused him grievance. He will never know, nor has he cared much in these past weeks. 

The only things he cared to know were:

1\. How could this have happened? Arthur can safely say he has never before felt this way toward another man.

and

2\. How in the hell does he make it go away? For some of the most obvious reasons, the two could never be together, not even taking into account he has no bloody clue how Merlin feels.

And Merlin was doing absolutely nothing to help in this torturous situation, might he add, always running around the castle donning that neck kerchief and a dopey grin without fail. Hardly was he ever in a dull mood when Merlin came around to fulfill his duties. Even his snarky comments left Arthur struggling to contain his content these days. 

As if on cue, a knock came at the door immediately followed by the entrance of a lanky figure clutching a silver tray. Arthur let himself bask in the sight of an oblivious Merlin, his features impossibly brightened by rays of the early morning sun. He took a deep, composing breath as the tray of food was set rather clumsily on the wooden table and his servant spared a glance at the prince.

“You’re late, Merlin. I’m meant to be training in half an hour,” he attempted, at least some sense of annoyance in his tone. He pulled aside the deep red covers and made his way to take a seat at the table. Merlin stood waiting on the opposite side, giving a slight bow of his head ( _and totally did not roll his eyes in the process_ ). 

“Yes, well Gaius had some errands for me to run this morning,” came the short, uncharacteristically subservient response. He was tight lipped, rocking back and forth on the heels of his feet with his hands placed behind his back. He watched Arthur with expecting eyes, waiting almost impatiently for Arthur to finish eating.

Arthur, sensing this penetrating gaze like a knife pointed to his chest, stared blankly down at his plate before fixing an unimpressed look at Merlin. “I’m sorry, am I keeping you from something more important?” He laced his hands together behind his head and allowed his feet to rest beside the tray on the table, all while plastering a complacent smile onto his face.

Merlin stumbled with his words for a few seconds when his eyes went slightly wider with sudden realization, “You said it yourself. You’ve got training.” His hand was held out desperately in Arthur’s direction to convey his point. 

Arthur squinted at Merlin, who was acting suspiciously weird this morning. Well, weirder than he most always was.

“Well, get on with it! We don’t have all day now, do we? I will not cover for you again,” Merlin went on indignantly whilst he moved around Arthur’s chambers, tidying up. 

Arthur’s questioning momentarily subsided as he came to realize how hungry he was. He sized up the contents of his meal before making to grab the fresh roll. He had taken a single bite before setting it down and turning his attention to the meat. His hand made to grab it and—

“All done? Great!” Merlin’s slim fingers snatched the tray still laden with Arthur’s breakfast and began a quick pace to the door. 

“Where do you think you’re going with that?” The prince leaned toward the moving figure, hoping he could grasp anymore of the tray’s contents, but a drowsy Arthur just awoken was no match for the ball of energy that was Merlin.

Merlin’s torso peeked out from behind the heavy door he made to walk out of. He offered a simple, meant-to-be reassuring ( _it wasn’t_ ) smile, “Just dropping this off at the kitchen. I’ll be back before you have to meet the knights, don’t get yourself in a twist trying to get ready on your own.”

Arthur let out a flustered cry, “Merlin!” But before he could form another word, the boy in question had swiftly escaped the prince’s chambers along with his untouched breakfast.

As much as he hated to admit, Merlin was correct in Arthur’s inability to ready himself for the day ahead. So, seeing as he could do nothing but wait for his unbelievable servant’s return, Arthur dragged his feet to the side of his room and ~~sulked~~ sat by the window.

Was he imagining things, or was Merlin truly acting strange? If so, then what could be the reason behind this behavior? 

Sometimes he felt he knew Merlin as well as anyone could, other times he wondered if he would ever know the man at all. It seemed so blatantly obvious at times there were things Merlin kept secret from everyone, from Arthur.

Arthur certainly was not one for petty feelings, no. But if he were, he wouldn’t help but feel slightly dejected that he was grouped with _everyone_ in Merlin’s mind. Arthur was more than certain after the tumultuous events during their relationship thus far that no matter what Merlin revealed about himself, Arthur would never let any harm nor judgement come to him. He was but a poor sod fallen victim to Merlin— witty, pure of heart Merlin. 

If only he could just see that, and trust his prince to do his duty and fucking protect him. 

Amidst his thoughts, he faintly registered the opening of a door and footsteps approaching him before they suddenly stopped.

“What’s got you moping around? Did you try and dress yourself?” 

The teasing tone was just enough to spark a flare in Arthur. He unconsciously puffed out his chest and stuck his chin up in offense. “I am not _moping_. I am about to be late all thanks to you, Merlin.” 

As Merlin picked out Arthur’s gear from the tall wardrobe, the prince made a show of standing up and marching to the open area near the other man. “Seems to me you would be rid of that problem if you weren’t such a man child.” Merlin turned around, scrutinizing the simple tunic held up in his hands. 

He stalked toward Arthur while preparing the garment to be placed over the prince’s head. “Need I remind you just who you’re talking to?” The piece of clothing succeeded in mussing Arthur’s hair, but did not keep him from throwing a pointed look at his servant. 

Merlin blinked innocently, “Of course not, but I’m sure your ego will insist that you do.”

Arthur could barely contain the smile tugging at his lips, he felt like such a lovesick fool. 

_Only Merlin_. 

A few silent beats passed with Arthur acting a willing participant while Merlin dressed him. He was glad Merlin seemed to be more like himself since returning, but his mind would not allow his curiosity to wane without answers. 

“Merlin?”

The other peeked up at Arthur after setting his boots on the floor closer to the prince’s feet. 

“Are you feeling… alright?”

_Smooth Arthur._

Merlin stood straight, a quizzical look adorning his features. And Arthur’s breath did NOT catch in his throat at the sight. “Yes?”

So Arthur nodded and slipped on his boots, the conversation seemingly coming to an end. 

“It’s just— You seemed off earlier,” Arthur prodded, hoping it came off as an innocent statement rather than an imposing inquiry.

Merlin, who had been securing a sword belt on his waist, faltered slightly in his movements. He avoided eye contact while answering, “Really? I did have an early morning, you know—” 

“You must really take me for a fool if you think I believe that for a second,” Merlin had since turned his back to Arthur under the false pretense of retrieving the sword laying on the table. When he showed no signs of following up, Arthur continued. “Merlin, you have to trust me and be truthful with me.” His tone was thick with authority, but what Arthur hoped hadn’t seeped through was the weakening desperation he felt. 

“I had to meet up with someone.” Merlin still showed no signs of turning around. 

Arthur was _dying_ _here_.

“Who were you meeting up with that would cause you to act so strange?”

Merlin’s shoulders visibly dropped, along with his defenses it seemed. “Gwen.” 

_Oh_. 

Right. Well that made perfect sense. It’s been no doubt that Gwen was interested in Merlin, he just never put into consideration the same could be true vice versa. But thinking of it now, of course it was true. Gwen was pretty and kind. Gwen was a _girl_. 

When Merlin spun around with the sword, Arthur fixed his posture and tried to save face. He did his best to seem like a supportive friend. “Guinevere? Glad to see you two are finally connecting.” Every word punched his gut as Merlin continued avoiding any sort of eye contact with Arthur.

“It wasn’t like that—”

“No need to make excuses, Merlin,” he just needed to get this over with. Merlin lying was not helping that happen.

Merlin huffed. “Would you listen to someone other than yourself for once? Is that so hard for you, you— you cabbage head!” Merlin’s eyes were wide with determination and staring right at Arthur. 

“Did you just call me,” he paused, wracking his brain around what he just heard. “A cabbage head?” He chuckled dryly, of course Merlin could make him laugh whilst his heart was in pain.

Merlin, not as amused, gulped and nodded his head with slight regret. He took two steps toward Arthur and warily handed over the sword. Something was off. Merlin was usually beyond pleased with himself after insulting Arthur. Now he just looked like any wrong move would set Arthur off.

It pained him that Merlin thought Arthur could ever be anything less than smitten with him. Maybe in the past, but he thought surely they were both past that now.

Arthur sheathed his sword and grabbed Merlin’s wrist in a loose grip, forcing Merlin to give the prince his attention. Arthur hoped his expression was as open as he felt right now. “Tell me then. What was it like?”

Merlin still seemed hesitant. 

“You are not required to trust me, Merlin. But I hope someday you realize that you can.” 

As the endeavor seemed fruitless at this point, Arthur readied himself to forget this whole interaction and attend training as usual. He let go of the smaller hand and made to leave.

“It was about you, Arthur,” a hand grabbing his arm stopped him in his tracks. Arthur chanced a look at Merlin’s face to see he was biting on his bottom lip before looking up at the prince. “Gwen is the only one I could ever go to about this.”

Arthur tried his hardest to stomp out the hope swelling up in his chest. His actions betrayed him and he stepped closer into Merlin’s space. 

Merlin continued on, “I trust you, Arthur. I trust you are the kind of man to hold little judgement about things that cannot be helped. But I also trust you could not turn a blind eye to concerning _differences_ that are revealed to you. Which is why I would never put you in a position to make such difficult choices—” 

“Merlin—”

“I do not wish to place on you an ultimatum between your friendship to me and your duty as prince—”

“Merlin, those aren’t your decisions to—”

“I have feelings for you Arthur! Feelings that make me want to hold your stinking hand and stare at your stupid smile and lay down my life for you, not because you are the prince of Camelot, but because I would rather I die than have to go on living without you, you complete prat!”

Arthur had no clue what he expected Merlin to say, but that was definitely not it. Words failed him as he tried to make sense of, well, everything.

“I’ve said what I needed to say. You can call the guards now, I won’t make this hard for you. Just, please don’t involve Gwen. She was only trying to—”

Arthur came back to himself in an instant and his instincts finally, _finally_ kicked into gear. “Oh shut up,” he said half heartedly as he cut Merlin off with a kiss. One hand cupped Merlin’s face and the other wrapped around his waist to pull him impossibly closer. Both of Merlin’s hands came to rest on Arthur’s shoulders.

When the pair parted for a breath, Merlin spoke. “You have got training.” 

Really? Arthur just kissed the daylights out of him, and he was thinking about training?

“Training is the last thing I am thinking about right now, Merlin.”

“But you’ll be late. And I’ve just gotten you all ready to go, haven’t I?”

“Then get me unready. We are not leaving this room until we’ve had a proper conversation.”

Merlin gave that dopey grin and Arthur was a smiling mess right there with him. “Are you sure you can handle a proper conversation? You can’t go one bloody minute without interrupting me.” Despite his words, Merlin was already removing the layers of armor from Arthur’s body.

Arthur knows he should be scared of all the things going against them. But he’s not, he can’t bring himself to be anything but completely happy knowing Merlin feels the same as him. He has never felt such determination to make something last. It will be difficult, he’s no idiot, but with Merlin openly looking at him the way he is right now, Arthur just wishes he could thank whatever led him _here_ , of all places.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! and stay safe everyone!
> 
> gwen


End file.
